Happy Thursday. Enjoy a big stack of pancakes smothered in butter and syrup (which are whole grain since you’re trying to eat healthier). And while you’re taking care of food for your stomach, here’s some food for thought. Use these random facts to impress your friends and co-workers through the day:• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. Or you can just buy a new cup of coffee.
• A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. But it can accidentally bite its own tongue, which hurts like hell, especially if you’re a crocodile.
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (go ahead, look at your keyboard and try it out. Typewriter. I just did it. Cool, huh?)
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing (Ew).
• No word in the English language rhymes with 'MONTH.' Go ahead. Start sounding some out. You won’t find one (Punth is not a word).
• A snail can sleep for three years (that actually sounds really, really good right now).
• It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow. Many have tried. All have failed.
• Elephants are the only animals that can't jump (and white men).
• You just tried to lick your elbow (don’t lie. I saw you).
• JomaDeals is selling a gorgeous Emporio Armani wallet for 45% off retail. That’s more than anywhere else on the Internet, we guarantee (you knew I’d have to write in the sales pitch sometime).
It’s all true. Buy today before midnight, and this gorgeous wallet from the world’s most respected designer can be all yours at a huge discount. So add it to your cart soon, and let me know if you ever manage to lick that elbow of yours (keep trying…you’ve got all day).
SPECS:
Blue leather with gold-tone hardware
Interior is blue leather
1 billfold, 6 slip pockets, 6 card slots, 1 coin pouch
Measures 5" width x 3 1/2" height x 1" depth
Jomadeals.com does not ship outside the USA and its territories. Shoppers from outside the USA may place orders for delivery within the United States. Product ships 3-7 business days after order.
Wendy? Wendy, are you awake?
Nice butt.
Oh, crap. I think we pissed Winter off. With all our talk about global warming, saying that the world isn’t quite as cold as it used to be, it got pretty mad and is now letting us have it. We should have kept our mouths shut. But it’s too late now. We’re screwed. And now Winter is looking at us with our warm jackets and salted sidewalks and is taking it as a challenge. And it likes to trash talk (“You’re wearing Northface? Oh, that’s cute. Good company. I’m going to freeze you now.”)
I have an ugly wallet. I’ll admit it. I bought it from a boutique in Mexico for five American dollars (talked him down from fifteen; I’m a master of bartering). It’s red, white, and black plaid with a random design around the fringe. It has a Quicksilver logo on the front, though I’m 100% sure Quicksilver didn’t make it. Its insides are made of tough nylon and comes with a zipper pocket. And it Velro’s shut. I’ve now had this same wallet for 15 years, and it’s never looked worse. You’d think I’d break and buy a new one already, but to tell you the truth, I almost don’t want to. It’s like a comfort blanket. It’s unique. It’s familiar. And it’s so broken in that it fits my butt like a pair of expensive jeans. I even gave it a name. Called him Gary. So I was fine with Gary for a long time, knowing that eventually I’d have to replace him. Well, the breaking point came last week. I was walking home from work late one night when a stranger walked up to me, pulled out a gun, and demanded I give him my money. I threw him my wallet. He looked at it, paused for a moment, threw it back and said, “Gross,” then ran away. When thieves won’t even steal your wallet, you know it’s time to replace it. That’s why I’m glad at JomaDeals today we’re selling beautiful, genuine, Emporio Armani men’s wallet. It’s made in Italy and comes complete with an Armani signiature fabric interior,10 holder slots, and smooth, finished, black leather with that new wallet smell. It’s a wallet you’ll love and that will last you for many, many years (if you treat it right). Because the truth is, I could wear a designer suit and drive a sports car, but the minute I broke ol’ Gary out, no one took me seriously. So get a real, sleek, stylish leather wallet, and the rest will follow.