And that one I shall call…Sagittarius.Wait, what? Why?
Well, my good friend and fellow ancient Greek philosopher, because the outline of those stars look exactly like one of those half-man half-horse thingies.
Are you kidding me?
Not at all. You can see the shape of the tail, the four legs, the head, the arms, and the bow and arrow.
Okay, you’re totally just pulling that out of your butt.
Sigh. You just don’t get it, do you?
Considering you named the last group of stars after a naked virgin lady, no, apparently I don’t.
I’m thinking that group over there should be named after my pet crab, Cancer.
That’s a horrible name for a crab, by the way. Look, I have a better idea. Why don’t we name one of the constellations after this cool new watch I got.
What?
It makes a lot more sense than naming things after your random thoughts. I mean, look at it. It’s a gorgeous Wenger Swiss Military. It has a stainless steel construction with gold-tone links and highlights all over it like the glittering night sky. It’s powerful, it’s majestic, and looks great in a toga-suit. Plus, I got it at a deal of the day discount of 64% off. I mean, what else could be worthy of a constellation?
I’m thinking a goat.
You’re the worst.
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SPECIFICATIONS
Wenger Swiss Military Standard Issue Mens Watch 79167
Brand: Wenger Swiss Army
Model: 79167
Gender: Mens
Manufacturer Item: WN79167
Collection: Standard Issue
Movement: Quartz
Case Material: Stainless Steel
Case Shape: Round
Case Diameter: 39mm
Case Back: Screw-on stainless steel
Bezel: Fixed
Dial Color: White
Dial Markers: Arabic
Dial Type: Analog
Hands: Gold tone hour, minute, second
Luminescent: Hands and dial markers
Calendar: Date at 3 position
Crystal: Mineral
Crown: Regular
Band Type: 5-link bracelet
Band Length: Fits wrist size up to 8.5 inches
Band Width: 20mm
Band Material: Two-tone Stainless Steel
Clasp Type: Deployment
Emblem: Swiss Military "cross and shield" logo at 12 o'clock position, clasp, crown, case back
Functions: Date, Hour, Minute, Second
Water Resistance: 100m / 330ft / 10ATM
Misc Information: 18K PVD gold-plated accents
Made In: Swiss Made
Warranty: 3 Year Wenger Warranty
ABOUT BRAND
In 1897 the Original Swiss Army Knife was created in the small village of Ibach, Switzerland. Swiss watches just like the Swiss Army knife, stand for quality "Made in Switzerland". Wenger S.A. with their Headquarters in Delémont in the Jura mountains, established in 1893, is one of Europe's leading knife makers and one of only two official producers of the Swiss Army knife. Skilled workers abound in the Jura mountains, where watch making is a predominant industry, manufacture the famous Wenger knives in multiple operations on the latest machinery.
Wenger watches are designed to meet the most rigorous military requirements. The specifications would impress even the boldest watchmaker. Wenger watches must withstand use in extreme cold and humidity; withstand impacts, magnetism, and sudden changes in altitude. During the Swiss Commando Raid, which brings together military teams from fifteen countries, Wenger watches are subjected to the worst that can be inflicted on a timepiece, and not on a laboratory test benches, but for real.
Uncompromising craftsmanship makes these watches worthy of the "cross and shield" emblem of the Swiss Army Brand. Around the corner or around the globe, classically styled Swiss Army watches will make sure that you're equipped for life's adventures. No matter what those adventures might be.
See our previous Wenger Swiss Army daily deals.
Check our parent site JomaShop.com for Wenger Swiss Army watches.
Today’s deal of the day is a gorgeous gold-tone beauty from Tissot. It’s a luxury timepiece with superior quartz movement, scratch resistant sapphire crystal, and the JomaDeals 2-year warranty. It’s a genuine Tissot that will be the envy of everyone. It’s one of those watches that, when you place it on your nightstand after you go to bed at night, a dangerous yet handsome thief will rappel down from the rafters past the red security lasers while the guard is distracted by the smoke and mirrors diversion he left behind in the main lobby, and carefully remove the watch from its set location on the night stand, and just as he’s about to make his getaway, his intelligent yet awkward and clumsy sidekick will sneeze, setting off the alarms and leading to a dramatic chase where the thief manages to escapes only by diving headfirst into waterfall driving a BMW. But don’t worry. You’ll get it back after you lead a relentless investigation to find the thief, and when you’re finally closing in, you both realize that you’re in love with each other and donate the watch to charity and run off to Rio de Janeiro together. That’s the kind of watch it is. The End.
Now that I think about it, this watch does remind me of something. Maybe it’s because we’re in the middle of college and professional football right now, or the fact that both of my fantasy teams won this past week (5-2 and 4-2-1, not a bad start…not a great start, but not bad either, and yes I got a tie one week, it sucks, but it does happen sometimes). But for whatever reason, this watch reminds me of football (not real football, but the sport Americans like to call football that has nothing really to do with feet and should actually be called American Rugby instead, but I’ll leave that off the soapbox for another day. Oh, and notice how I didn’t say it reminds me of baseball, even though we’re in the middle of the world series? That’s because I don’t watch baseball. It’s boring. Sorry New York and Philly. I’d rather read about what happened in the paper than waste four to seven days of my life watching it). I mean, it’s not much of a stretch. This is a sports watch after all. But it’s not your little league sports watch. This is your professional, championship, multimillion-dollar contract sports watch that will hit hard and keep on going…at least until it turns 40, then it will probably retire or coach or become a commentator or do commercials for Sears or something. But until then, this watch will be the king of all sports watches. You won’t be disappointed. And if for some reason this pick of yours turns out to be a Ryan Leaf, the JomaDeals 2-year warranty will fix it so it starts acting like a winner again (bet the colts are glad they took Manning that year instead).
Elegance has a new name…it’s Nola…yea…betcha didn’t see that one coming. And although it’s true that this watch is synonymous with the word elegance, we’re still in the process with getting it registered and accepted by Webster’s Thesaurus, so don’t go about replacing Nola with elegance in everyday conversation, like “Goodness Gracious me, Helen, what a Nola dress you’re wearing,” or “Jumping Jehosaphat! The Queen sure looks Nola today,” or “Edgar the Elephant eats emu eggs on a Nola elevation” (that last one was a voice warmup/tongue twister, in case you couldn’t tell). So until that happens, you don’t have to worry about telling people how elegant you are. You can just show it (it’s called understated class, or feigned humility, take your pick).
