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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Swiss Military 06-4035-04-001

Beautifully powerful, brown-leather band Swiss Quartz men’s watch. This deal of the day is $48.00 (68% off the $150 retail price) - August 18, 2009.

Magellan circumnavigates the world. Louis and Clark chart the Louisiana Purchase. Ernest goes to camp. What do all these brave souls have in common? Their discoveries are nothing compared to this Swiss Army Conquest watch. Sure, these other conquest-ors did some impressive things, but they could have done a whole lot more with a watch like this. With precision Swiss Quartz timekeeping, Magellan could have circumnavigated the globe AND not been killed by a poisonous arrow in the Philippines while losing half his men to scurvy. With the genuine brown leather strap, Louis and Clark could have charted the new territory without hunting the Buffalo to near extinction (I hear you can still get their jerky in Wyoming…Buffalo jerky, not Louis and Clark jerky, you sicko). And with luminous hands and dial markers, Ernest could have gone to camp AND not fallen off a ladder while clinging to his frayed safety rope (oh, who are we kidding? Those hilarious, good-hearted hijinks are comedy gold!).

So as you don this watch (don as in “wear” not don as in Don Knotts, although it would be pretty cool if you magically became Don Knotts when you put the watch on. That would make a great Don Knotts movie, BTW), remember that you’re walking in the footsteps of the great conquestors (I know this isn’t technically a word, deal with it) of the past. You’ll discover new worlds (like the Japanese Butter Marker or Hot Food Blower) and maybe even discover something about yourself in the process (like why you bother to read this ENTIRE description when you could have been doing something else to waste time at work, like watching this). So pounce on this deal while it’s still largely undiscovered, Joma-junkies, and we might even let you name the watch in honor of your beloved Queen! (And don’t steal my Don Knotts movie idea; that’s my golden ticket out of this dead-end web-writing job).

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