And that one I shall call…Sagittarius.Wait, what? Why?
Well, my good friend and fellow ancient Greek philosopher, because the outline of those stars look exactly like one of those half-man half-horse thingies.
Are you kidding me?
Not at all. You can see the shape of the tail, the four legs, the head, the arms, and the bow and arrow.
Okay, you’re totally just pulling that out of your butt.
Sigh. You just don’t get it, do you?
Considering you named the last group of stars after a naked virgin lady, no, apparently I don’t.
I’m thinking that group over there should be named after my pet crab, Cancer.
That’s a horrible name for a crab, by the way. Look, I have a better idea. Why don’t we name one of the constellations after this cool new watch I got.
What?
It makes a lot more sense than naming things after your random thoughts. I mean, look at it. It’s a gorgeous Wenger Swiss Military. It has a stainless steel construction with gold-tone links and highlights all over it like the glittering night sky. It’s powerful, it’s majestic, and looks great in a toga-suit. Plus, I got it at a deal of the day discount of 64% off. I mean, what else could be worthy of a constellation?
I’m thinking a goat.
You’re the worst.
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SPECIFICATIONS
Wenger Swiss Military Standard Issue Mens Watch 79167
Brand: Wenger Swiss Army
Model: 79167
Gender: Mens
Manufacturer Item: WN79167
Collection: Standard Issue
Movement: Quartz
Case Material: Stainless Steel
Case Shape: Round
Case Diameter: 39mm
Case Back: Screw-on stainless steel
Bezel: Fixed
Dial Color: White
Dial Markers: Arabic
Dial Type: Analog
Hands: Gold tone hour, minute, second
Luminescent: Hands and dial markers
Calendar: Date at 3 position
Crystal: Mineral
Crown: Regular
Band Type: 5-link bracelet
Band Length: Fits wrist size up to 8.5 inches
Band Width: 20mm
Band Material: Two-tone Stainless Steel
Clasp Type: Deployment
Emblem: Swiss Military "cross and shield" logo at 12 o'clock position, clasp, crown, case back
Functions: Date, Hour, Minute, Second
Water Resistance: 100m / 330ft / 10ATM
Misc Information: 18K PVD gold-plated accents
Made In: Swiss Made
Warranty: 3 Year Wenger Warranty
ABOUT BRAND
In 1897 the Original Swiss Army Knife was created in the small village of Ibach, Switzerland. Swiss watches just like the Swiss Army knife, stand for quality "Made in Switzerland". Wenger S.A. with their Headquarters in Delémont in the Jura mountains, established in 1893, is one of Europe's leading knife makers and one of only two official producers of the Swiss Army knife. Skilled workers abound in the Jura mountains, where watch making is a predominant industry, manufacture the famous Wenger knives in multiple operations on the latest machinery.
Wenger watches are designed to meet the most rigorous military requirements. The specifications would impress even the boldest watchmaker. Wenger watches must withstand use in extreme cold and humidity; withstand impacts, magnetism, and sudden changes in altitude. During the Swiss Commando Raid, which brings together military teams from fifteen countries, Wenger watches are subjected to the worst that can be inflicted on a timepiece, and not on a laboratory test benches, but for real.
Uncompromising craftsmanship makes these watches worthy of the "cross and shield" emblem of the Swiss Army Brand. Around the corner or around the globe, classically styled Swiss Army watches will make sure that you're equipped for life's adventures. No matter what those adventures might be.
See our previous Wenger Swiss Army daily deals.
Check our parent site JomaShop.com for Wenger Swiss Army watches.
You stay classy, San Diego. It’s the perfect tie for the perfect gentleman in a full burgundy suit, full poofy hair, and a debonair moustache: the Givenchy Burgundy Striped Pattern Silk tie. This sleek, stylish tie will make you want to make out with yourself every time you look in the mirror (but don’t. You’ll cut yourself). And it’s guaranteed to attract the ladies and work 60% of the time, every time. Seriously, if you’re having a bad day and need a pick-me-up, buy yourself a quality name brand tie like this one. Why? Because buying a tie is the only sure way back to awesomeness. Try feeling bad when you look like a Greek god in a three-piece suit. It’s impossible. And like always, since the tie is on sale on JomaDeals, you can get this name brand classic for only $16.99. That’s 85% off the normal retail price. So get yours today while the getting’ is good. You’ll look so good, that if looks could kill you’d probably cause a nuclear holocaust. Which reminds me, you should probably lay low for awhile, ‘cuz you’re probably wanted for murder.
Which brings me to this watch. The DaVinci by Belle Suisse is your everyday watch. It’s your work watch, your play watch, your “give the baby a bath” watch, the “lets go to the amusement park and ride the Screamo Coaster a billion times” watch, the “need to change the oil but don’t want to pay some guy to do it so I’ll do it myself oh crap I spilled oil everywhere” watch. In other words, it’s the good looking, low maintenance watch that you can count on. It looks great, can take a beating, and keeps giving back every day. It’s like the ancient Taoist proverb goes: “He who owns the Toyota Corolla is happier than he who owns the Koenigsegg CCX” (I’m not sure if that’s true; if I owned a Koenigsegg CCX I’d be pretty frickin’ happy. So much for ancient eastern wisdom. Oh, and that Chinese symbol tattoo you got on your left upper pectoral doesn’t mean “tranquility” like you thought, it actually means “snake testicles”). Even if I did own a Koenigsegg, I’d still need a car to get me to and from work everyday and brave the occasional run-away shopping cart at the grocery store parking lot. This is that watch. The worry-free watch. And to make it even more worry free, this watch comes with the JomaDeals 2-year warranty, so if for some reason this watch doesn’t perform how it’s supposed to, we’ll fix it for free. So buy today and add this gem to your own personal annals (oh, and I dare you to use that word in a sentence sometime today and see if anyone notices…like the meow game from Super Troopers…hehe…classic).
It’s like that one show Deadliest Catch, or it’s most recent copycat, Whale Wars (I’m not sure if this new show is any good, but I guarantee that a fight between the king crab guys and the whale wars guys is a spin-off that almost demands to be written). These are the kind of shows where manly men get on a boat for months and months under grueling conditions without proper rest or sanitation in order to find adventure and fortune on the high seas. They’re like Boy Scout Pirates: looking for adventure without doing anything illegal (that would be a cool Scout Oath: “On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty, to pillage and ransack…). It’s all the adventure of the High Seas without being hunted by Her Majesty’s Royal Navy.
Have you ever gone to Coney Island? If not, you’ve at least heard of it right? It’s basically the original county fair. Funnel cakes, hot dogs, candied apples, and other foods that don’t occur in nature. And the best part: Impossible games, Freak shows, and rickety rides that you’re almost sure have actually killed people before (I went on the Cyclone, the big, wooden roller coaster at Coney Island this past summer, the oldest wooden roller coaster in America, and yea, it was scary, not the kind of scary that’s “Ah! This is so thrilling!”, it was more like “Ah! The cart I’m sitting in is older than my grandpa and is literally going to fly off the tracks into Scare-O-Rama).
Once again, the Deal of the Day here on JomaDeals is an Invicta watch from the Pro Driver line. Why? Because we keep selling out of them, that’s why. I already discussed this on an earlier post, and I bring it up again now to let you all know what the status is. This is our best selling watch. It always sells out, so if you like it (and I say this in all seriousness, which I rarely do), buy it now, because it will sell out quickly. Try to imagine that mad rush of females to a 
Picture that chaos, and that’s likely what’s happening on our site via personal computers all over the world. So join the frenzy! Act now! Our doors technically open at 12am EST, so that’s technically earlier than the 4am open time I was complaining about earlier, but this is different. With our daily Internet deals, you don’t have to leave the house or even get dressed to shop. Surf in your pj's, naked, in an animal suit (a la “The Shinning” in those few scenes with random people in animal costumes…*shudder…creepy, but if that’s how you roll, more power to you…), whatever you want. And with the Invicta 1-Year original manufacturer's warranty, you’ll be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that your purchase is covered (at least you’ll sleep well once you’re done shopping and drag yourself to bed for a few more hours of sleep before you hit the daily commute…ah, the things we do for a good deal).
I bet you thought DKNY only sold clothes. I bet you also thought DKNY actually stood for Donkey Kong (I went years getting compliments on my new blazer, and when I said I got it at Donkey Kong, they always gave me weird looks and asked if that was some kind of new label, and I told them “No, it’s DKNY…Donkey Kong” and they kept looking at me weird and walked away without saying a word. I have now learned my error and that everyone in the office has secretly been calling me Donkey Boy behind my back. Cruel. Tomorrow I’m putting laxatives in the office coffee). Well according to DKNY, it’s not about clothes and accessories. It’s about lifestyle. Which, if their slogan is accurate (DKNY stands for Donna Karan New York, if you’re still wondering. You probably could have taken a break from reading and looked it up online real quick instead of waiting for me to tell you, but hey, I guess I have to do EVERYTHING around here, don’t I?), then the DKNY lifestyle not only stands for style, class, and refinement, but also dirty subway cars, a love/hate relationship with the Yankees, and monthly rent that costs more your car, assuming you even own a car (Donkey Kong lifestyle: jumping over barrels wearing colorful overalls for a quarter per game).
But enough banter. Today’s Deal of the Day: A big-faced watch for the big faced man. Hold on, that didn’t sound right. Let me start over. The big faced watch for the man who likes…big faces…okay, I don’t think I’m quite getting the right angle. So let’s just dive right in and forget trying to be clever (I’m starting to understand now why my career as a snappy headline advertising writer didn’t quite work out). The DKNY Men’s Large Dial Watch is a mix of class and style with modern simplicity. Whether you want a watch with a unique, masculine design or you’re nearsighted and refuse to wear glasses, contacts, or get Lasik surgery (sounds like you’re being a little stubborn, but to each his own), this daily deal watch will match your needs perfectly. It’s a great looking Daily Deal watch at an unbeatable price. And should it go wrong for any manufacturing related reason, the JomaDeals 2-year warranty will make sure you get back to your DKNY style (Again, New York, not Donkey Kong) as soon as possible.
Well, no longer! Today is the glorious day that you reward yourself for all the awesomer than awesome skills you’ve acquired over a lifetime of tedious moments. Today’s Deal of the Day is another Eco-drive from Citizen. The Eco-Drive is one of the most innovative lines of watches ever produced by humans. It’s solar powered, which is easier both on the environment (makes you feel less guilty for falling asleep in the refrigerator) and your wallet since you never need to buy a new battery. It’s also a great formal watch for any and all special occasions, like a date, your wedding, your divorce, your second wedding, the birth of your first child, your second child, your third, your forth, your vasectomy, your vasectomy reversal, your fifth child, your re-vasectomy, your children’s graduation, your children’s wedding, your grandkids’ birthdays, your retirement party, your funeral, and your welcoming party in heaven (or hell, depending on your preference). And since its solar powered it will last that entire time without ever having to change the battery (especially in heaven. I hear it’s REALLY bright up there).
The prestigious history of this Deal of the Day reaches back to 1758 when Jacques Gevril was commissioned to make a watch for the King of Spain. The King was so impressed by the watch that he appointed Gevril Royal Swiss Watchmaker to the Spanish Crown. Pretty cool, huh? Since then, Gevril has continued making innovative watches for people who demand the highest quality. Gevril’s current watches include some of the most modern and unique timepieces in the world. The GV2, for example, is only made of the best materials, and has a unique face. The hour numerals are revealed by a rotating round inner window, while the minutes are displayed around the outer perimeter of the face by another rotating sphere. If you have no idea what I just said, don’t worry, I don’t even understand what I just said (check out the pics and video of the watch below. It’ll explain a lot). So buy before midnight tonight to get the JomaDeals discount, and rest assured that if anything should go wrong with it, the JomaDeals 2-year warranty will make sure it’s all taken care of (unless you drop it into the ocean during your surfing guitar solo. We can’t help you there, king).
This Burberry Clutch in particular comes with gold leather weaved seamlessly into the trademark Burberry pattern, a modern design guaranteed to make you look and feel 
Today we welcome the newest edition to the JomaDeal offerings: a genuine, Burberry Black Patent Leather Wallet. It’s beautiful, durable, and chic with the classic Burberry Check pattern. It will fit comfortably in your coat pocket as you gracefully stroll through downtown London in a light drizzle on your way to your countryside home in Netherfield (that’s a charming image, right? Oh, and don’t tell anyone I’ve actually read 
This is quite literally the most fun watch we’ve ever sold on JomaDeals. Just looking at it makes me want to grab my swim trunks, call my best gal and my groovy, upper-middle class white friends and have a 
This is a women’s watch, but if you’re a man who thinks you can pull it off (you’re either too cool for this planet or…
