I picked a hell of a day to stop drinking.Now listen to me, Janice, I know all three of your captains have died of an unusually lethal form of food poisoning. And that the stewardesses don’t have a clue. And that since it’s the 1970s, we’re still allowed to call flight attendants stewardesses (and pinch their butts and call them sweetie and smoke in the bathroom). But if you’re going to stay in control and land this place you’re going to have to calm down and get a hold of yourself. Don’t make me line everyone up again to slap the hell out of you.
Take me, for instance. Everyday I have to handle a runway full of airplanes needing to take off along with a sky full of planes that need to land, and I have to coordinate everything so they don’t all crash into each other. And now on top of all that, I have to deal with an airplane with no living pilots, an old woman who speaks jive, and a middle-aged woman who keeps trying to put makeup on no matter how mad the turbulence is.
But I’m staying cool and collected. How? Power tie, that’s how. It just so happens that on this unfortunate day I happened to put on my lucky power tie. It’s a name-brand Paul Smith tie that I got from JomaDeals at a 85% discount. It keeps me calm in any situation and makes me feel like I’m in control. And its yellow flower pattern helps me stay positive and makes me feel like I’m also in style, on top, and in charge.
Do you read me, Janice? Are you calm? Have you ever been in a Turkish prison? Good. Deep breaths. You’re going to land this plane.
Good luck. We’re all counting on you.
SPECS:
Yellow sateen tie with striped yellow flowers and dots pattern.
Pink rose pattern silk lining.
Necktie measures 57" long and 3 3/4" at widest point.
100% silk.
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About Brand
Within 20 years of his introduction to fashion Paul Smith had established himself as the pre-eminent British designer. Paul Smith has the ability to anticipate, and even spark off trends not only fashion but in the wider context of popular culture. He manages to transmit a genuine sense of humour and mischief mixed with his love of tradition and the classics. Designed in Nottingham and London, the Paul Smith collections are primarily produced in England and Italy while the fabrics used are mainly of Italian, French and British origin.
See our previous Paul Smith daily deals.
Check our parent site JomaShop.com for Paul Smith ties.
Today’s deal of the day is another super-sleek, 100% silk designer tie from the one and only Paul Smith. And we’ve got it at an 85% discount. Even though you can never have enough stylish ties for the office, for going out, for church, for special occasions, etc, some people get bored of doing the same routine of tying a tie around your neck. So I’ve taken the liberty of compiling a short list of the different uses for a tie.
“We may never know what caused the man to leap from the top of his 30-floor apartment building into the freezing pool below wearing nothing but a bathrobe, but one thing is for sure, he won’t be watching “The View” again for a very long time. Back to you in the studio, Jim.”
If you’re bored and thinking of changing up your look, why not consider the grizzled hipster beard? It’s gnarly, it’s unkempt, and it’s extremely cool. It’s the number one way to show other people that you enjoy indie bands that they’ve never heard of, play a musical instrument of some kind, and eat hormone-free, cage-free, child-labor-free, garden-grown hummus for breakfast every morning. It’s the look that will tell everyone that when you’re not at your desk crunching numbers, you’re a brooding intellectual contemplating the ambivalence and recklessness of life at a club or smoky dive bar surrounded by admirers to whom you seem listlessly oblivious. Wouldn’t that be the coolest thing ever? At the very least it would make you much more interesting to other people. All the best celebrities grew beards at their low points: Ron Burgundy, Joaquin Phoenix, your College English Professor, etc. And what goes best with a hipster beard? A classy tie. You see, if you grow a sloppy beard, you HAVE to step up your wardrobe at the same time. Otherwise, you don’t look cool and hip. You look homeless and crazy (i.e. The Unibomber, Bin Laden, Rupert from Survivor). And there’s no better way to step it up than by buying yourself a name-brand tie like today’s deal of the day. Today’s daily deal is a Paul Smith Blue and Yellow striped silk tie. It’s a classy look that will make you look awesome. So buy today, and start looking like you had a Hollywood-esque emotional breakdown tomorrow (your friends are going to be so jealous).
Men wear ties. Real men wear Paul Smith ties. REALLY real men take that Paul Smith Tie and strangle a zombie alligator with it without getting it wrinkled or bloody. Women comedians also wear ties, or women trying to make a statement about gender roles in a male chauvinist society (or both), but we won’t focus on them. Ties are for men who want to make an impression and have direction in life. They’re winners. They’re go-getters. They’re go-takers. They get things done no matter what. And they do it with a cigar in their mouths and a bottle of scotch in their desk drawer (someone’s been watching Mad Men too much). And if you want to go the extra mile and get a real reading on the awesome detector, get this classic from Paul Smith. You could use it. Right now, I’m pointing my awesome detector out of the computer in your direction (yes, I CAN do that, we have the technology) and am getting a lower than normal reading. That autographed picture of Brent Spiner hanging on the wall behind you isn’t helping. Look, you can lift weights and listen to as much Led Zepplin as you want, but unless you’re sporting a designer tie, you might as well be lifting pink Barbie weights and listening to Emo. So get the Paul Smith tie today while it’s still at a discount, and you’ll still have enough money left over to drink shots out of a real shotgun (that’ll put hair on your chest…and your back).
