A name brand tie that’s so sleek it will baffle you. This deal of the day is $19.99 (82% off the $110 retail price). Sale ends at midnight tonight (EST).
"Officer Stevens, I’m Agent Turley from the Bureau. Can you explain what happened here?""Bloody Mess. Classic case of guy getting his tie stuck in the paper shredder."
"Sounds hilarious."
"It’s not. It shredded his face off."
"Ouch."
"Yup. Heck of a way to go. Luckily, he was the office a-hole, so no one is too broken up about it."
"That helps. So if this is a standard case, why did you call us on this one?"
"Because, sir, it’s his tie."
"What about it?"
"It’s in perfect condition."
"Do you mean to tell me that after going through a shredder that took a man’s life tonight, the tie was not harmed?"
"That’s right. Clean, gorgeous, and in perfect shape."
"What’s it made of?"
"It’s 100% silk. That’s it. It measures a standard 55” long and 3.5” at the widest point. And as you can see, it comes in this attractive navy, black, and white checked pattern that probably brought out the blue in his eyes. When he had eyes, that is."
"Is it military?"
"Givenchy."
"Dear god."
"I assume you want to take it in for examination?"
"Immediately. If word of this gets out, everyone is going to want it. The Russians, the North Koreans, the Chinese, even the Iraqis, though they don’t wear ties over there."
"And lets hope they never do."
"It needs to stay contained. If some psycho gets his hands on it, he could sell tons of them, especially if they do it at a 84% discount."
"No one’s that insane. Not even Ahmadinejad."
"You never know, Officer. It could happen. And God help the poor schmuck who does it."
"God help us all."
SPECS:
Navy tie with light blue checkered pattern, including scattered Givenchy logos.
Black silk lining with tiny white polka dot pattern.
Necktie measures 55" long and 3 1/2" at widest point.
100% silk.
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About Brand
Givenchy is a French brand of clothing, accessories, perfumes and cosmetics with Parfums Givenchy. The house of Givenchy was founded in 1952 by designer Hubert de Givenchy and is a member of Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture et du Pret-a-Porter. During his reign as the designer of the label bearing his name, Hubert de Givenchy was known for his modern, ladylike styles, which earned him many loyal clients. The most famous patron of the brand was Audrey Hepburn in films such as Sabrina, for which Edith Head claimed the Academy Award, How to Steal a Million and Breakfast at Tiffany's. His other famous patrons include the Guinness, Grimaldi and Kennedy families, who famously wore Givenchy clothes to the funeral of John F. Kennedy.
A few days ago, I encouraged everyone to grow a hipster beard in order to look like a brooding, intellectual ambassador of cool. I realize this was done a bit carelessly and I should lay down some ground rules before you throw your Gillete 5-Blade Fusion out the window. There are some serious rules you must follow if you’re going to grow the perfect man-beard. First, you must grow the beard on your whole face. Fruity Goat-tees and creepy moustaches don’t count (growing a beard on only one side of your face is the exception since it might be kind of cool). Rule two, once your beard gets long enough, you may not braid, wax, or weave it. Unless you’re the bass player for Anthrax or an evil villain tying a damsel to some train tracks, it’s not going to fly. Rule three, even though you want the scraggly, unkempt look, it’s important that you only LOOK unkempt and scraggly. Once you start picking French fries and small animals out of your beard, you’ve crossed the line from hip to the guy who pees on himself at the subway. Rule four, long hair isn’t against the rules per se, but if you go overboard you’ll look less like a member of Fleet Foxes and more like a member of the Old Testament. Rule five, make sure you dress well so you look hip and not homeless. The nice clothes and accessories below the neck will balance the disregard for modern grooming standards above the neck. Today’s deal of the day will help. It’s a Givenchy Navy Logo Pattern Silk Necktie. It’s a 100% silk pattern beauty that will make you look like you’re on your way to a Letterman interview that you couldn’t care less about (not caring about really cool things is so cool right now). And best yet, you can get it today at a 85% discount. So keep these rules in mind, and after a few months of growth you’ll look so cool that you’ll look like you don’t care about looking cool, which looks pretty cool.