Summer is here, which means fewer jackets, more t-shirts, and more time to finally show off your massive biceps and that diamond dragon tattoo you got after a few too many drinks on New Years Eve (or in my case, Sponge Bob Square Pants tattoo. It was a LONG night).So to make sure you look your best, you could head to the gym and sculpt your guns (side note, why can’t people see me for who I am instead of my massive biceps? Why?!) or you could buy the latest gear to make the most of the summer’s added arm space (just kidding about the massive biceps. I wish that were my problem. My arms are like bendy straws. Add a Sponge Bob tattoo, and I’ll never have a serious girlfriend again).
Introducing today’s deal of the day, this Leather Strap Bracelet with closure ring from the name you can trust to be the pinnacle of style and fashion, Dolce & Gabbana. It’s an awesome band with a genuine rock and roll feel to it. And it can be yours today at a 73% deal of the day discount.
So buy today before midnight and roll up those sleeves, bro. This summer is going to rock (or in my case, this summer is going to be a zany kid’s cartoon that’s also smart enough for grownups to enjoy…seriously, do NOT get tattoos after 10pm).
SPECS:
Brown leather with silver-tone hardware
Jomadeals.com does not ship outside the USA and its territories. Shoppers from outside the USA may place orders for delivery within the United States. Product ships 3-7 business days after order.
The JomaDeals “Ode to Mom” 20-ish Part Series
The number one breakfast in the US: cereal. You know, the kind you eat cold and out of a box, drenched in milk. And what cereal you choose says a lot about you. For example, if you have a hard time letting go of your childhood, you likely eat Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles, or Trix. If you like calluses on the roof of your mouth from wear and tear, you likely choose Captain Crunch every morning. If you’re trying to get diabetes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Trying to eat healthy? Raisin Bran. Healthy and snobby? Koshi. Healthy but not really? Honey Bunches of Oats. Cheap or broke? Something in a bag. In any case, your choice of cereal says a lot about you. So does your choice of clothing and accessories. Choosing, for example, a watch from the $10 discount bin at Wal-mart not only says that you don’t care about style or class, but also that you don’t care that your watch is going to stop working in 3 days. Choosing Dolce & Gabbana on the other hand, says you know what’s going on. You have taste, you have style, and you have confidence. And yes, Dolce & Gabbana DOES make stuff for men, thank you very much. Wearing this watch will not only make other guys feel threatened by your awesomeness, but girls who know name brands will be drawn to you. And as always, the watch comes with a 2-year JomaDeals warranty, so if women don’t start immediately throwing themselves at you, you can send it back fix it so that they do (not really. It’s just a metaphor. Don’t send it back if women still don’t like you).
How about a brain? So I can be more smarter.
Combo! Excellent! Finish him!
Everyone just needs to calm down.
“Bachelor Number 1, if you were an ice cream flavor, which would you be?”
Hey everyone, come see how good I look. Square face, stainless steel case, two sub dials, black and stainless steel bracelet. If it were legal for a watch to marry itself, I would. And we would have twenty strong, handsome boys, a luxury loft apartment in the city and a weekend house in the country, a couple of Husky’s, a handful of motorcycles, chronograph functions, luminous hands, and an Xbox 360. But then I’d get carried away and end up living way above my means, fall behind on my mortgage payments, make a few bad decisions, bust my arms in a motorcycle accident running from the cops, have to foreclose my home and sell everything I own to pay off debts. Then I’d use what little money I had left to buy a keyboard, play for spare change on the subway, get discovered by some independent music producer, make it big as the next Billy Joel, and have a movie made based on my life story starring Eric Bana as me. Cool, huh? I have everything planned out, including the part where I hit rock bottom, lying on a dirty bed in a cheap motel room surrounded by beer bottles sporting a full beard, where I decide to end it all but change my mind when a butterfly lands on my finger and leads me to the pawn shop where I buy my first keyboard. Ooo, I get chills just thinking about it. Trust me. I’m awesome. And you can buy me today at a 68% discount. This is a one-time thing. Tomorrow I’ll be gone on some other adventure, and you’ll have to live with the regret that you could have had me but lost me (which I’ve also worked into my movie. See chapter 12 of my autobiography).
On the next episode of What Not to Wear, Stacy and Clinton go to your house, tell you that you dress like a 1950s circus clown, throw out all your old clothes and jewelry, and buy you today’s deal of the day, this gorgeous, elegant, Stacy and Clinton approved Dolce & Gabbana necklace (full discloser: they didn’t actually endorse this necklace for us. I just wrote that in to make this description a little more fun, so just check your brain at the door and go with it). This deal of the day is a beautiful addition to any wardrobe and a must have for your jewelry collection. And today only, you can get it from us at a 71% discount. And no, I will not shut up, Stacy. This discount is for real. So act on this deal today before midnight and add a beautiful little sparkle to your wardrobe at a fraction of the retail price. Otherwise your friends and family are going to secretly tape your clothing choices and make fun of you behind your back forever (and then air it on national television, FYI).
Today’s Deal of the Day is an incredible watch from your favorite show-it-off name brand, Dolce & Gabbana (which I hear is Spanish for “I’m rich, you’re not”). And as a sweet, sweet bonus we’re giving you a choice of three different styles, all the same discounted price. One watch is all gold, one is all silver, and one is in-between. So it’s basically a “pick your own bling,” day. Say that you’re the golden grill, living out loud, tons of chains, baggy pants, record deal type of girl. Then maybe you should pick the all gold one for maximum bling-age. Or maybe you’re an Upper East side, old money, limousine, Heiress, expensive restaurant, little dog in your purse, type of girl. Then maybe you should go with the more subtle all silver style. Or maybe you’re in some weird in-between place, where up is down, left is right, clocks melt and dogs wear hats (like New Zealand). Then go with the mix chain. Anyway you go, you can’t lose. It’s an awesome chain-within-a-chain design that will make everyone happy.
