Mother’s Day is fast approaching and you’re broke. Or cheap. Or both. So your only choice is to get Mom a card, a handful of daisy you stole from your neighbor’s lawn, or a finger painting (she seemed to love them when you were four, so maybe you’ll get away with it).OK. We hear you. And although it’s not our fault that you spent the last of your money on a replica of the original 1982 Boba Fett Costume (trust me, I’m not judging. I would have made the exact same choice), we also can’t stand the thought of you handing your poor mother a finger painting of a turkey which is really just your handprint with feet and a beak drawn in.
That’s why we’re doing you a solid and giving you today’s deal of the day for as close to free as we can possibly get it. We'll even put the shipping on the house, which should be a big help unless you actually work in our office and can just go around the back to the warehouse and pick it up yourself (which I’m not even allowed to do for security reasons, so just accept it).
So take advantage of my boss’ apparent mental breakdown and get something your Mother will really love and be able to use again and again, instead of putting it on the refrigerator and then taking it down a few months when she gets an appealing coupon mailer from Dominos to replace it with (your mom loves you, but your finger paintings suck, dude).
SPECS
- Classic strand of genuine white freshwater rice pearls
- Pearl necklace features a secure silvertone clasp
- Perfect Gift for Mothers Day
- Perfect Gift for June Birthstone
- Strand Measures 18" inches long
- Pearl Size 5.0-5.5 mm
Jomadeals.com does not ship outside the USA and its territories. Shoppers from outside the USA may place orders for delivery within the United States. Product ships 3-7 business days after order.
Business executives and Chelsea hipsters of the world rejoice! JomaDeals is offering another name-brand, high-quality, good-for-everything tie at a fraction of the hoity-toity (I’m bringing back 1920s slang, deal with it) retail cost. Once again, looking good doesn’t have to cost a fortune. You’re better off buying a good-quality tie at a discount and then using the savings to do something else while wearing it, like going to the symphony so you can brag to all your friends about going to the symphony telling them how much you enjoy classical music so you look intelligent and refined when in reality you slept through the whole concert (but hey! At least you looked good, and the tie also doubled as an effective drool bib…remind me to pick it up at the cleaners later…). Or you can go to a club downtown and instead of wearing a see-through mesh shirt with tight leather pants like Raúl the Latin gigolo from Buenos Aires, you show up wearing a blazer and tie looking like a champ, and everyone sees you as the young, good-looking, confident, successful professional with ambition on his mind and a wad of cash in his pocket (that you have thanks to all the savings on JomaDeals. See? Everyone wins). It’s a lot like the philosophy of Barney from that show “How I met your Mother.” He was on to something with that whole “always wear a suit” thing. With this Paul Smith tie and a confident smirk on your face (practice the smirk in the mirror before you go out, you don’t want to accidentally do the “crazy stalker” smirk or the “just got a lobotomy is my scar noticeable?” smirk), you’ll be getting so much attention from the fairer gender that you won’t know what to do with yourself (sorry, can’t help you know what to do with yourself, cowboy. We’ll reel in the fish, but you gotta do the cookin’). So buy away! The last tie we featured sold out really fast, so don’t wait until the last minute. No pressure. Just thought I’d warn you.
Springtime is upon us! It’s in full sway!
The JomaDeals “Ode to Mom” 20-ish Part Series
Alright kids, now settle down. According to the sign, from this point the wait is only another 3.5 hours.
The JomaDeals “Ode to Mom” 20-ish Part Series
The JomaDeals “Ode to Mom” 20-ish Part Series
Spring is a time of renewal. Out with the old, in with the new. Time to do all of those things you’ve been wanting to do all winter but didn’t because you were too cold and/or sun-deprived to do it.
The number one breakfast in the US: cereal. You know, the kind you eat cold and out of a box, drenched in milk. And what cereal you choose says a lot about you. For example, if you have a hard time letting go of your childhood, you likely eat Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles, or Trix. If you like calluses on the roof of your mouth from wear and tear, you likely choose Captain Crunch every morning. If you’re trying to get diabetes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Trying to eat healthy? Raisin Bran. Healthy and snobby? Koshi. Healthy but not really? Honey Bunches of Oats. Cheap or broke? Something in a bag. In any case, your choice of cereal says a lot about you. So does your choice of clothing and accessories. Choosing, for example, a watch from the $10 discount bin at Wal-mart not only says that you don’t care about style or class, but also that you don’t care that your watch is going to stop working in 3 days. Choosing Dolce & Gabbana on the other hand, says you know what’s going on. You have taste, you have style, and you have confidence. And yes, Dolce & Gabbana DOES make stuff for men, thank you very much. Wearing this watch will not only make other guys feel threatened by your awesomeness, but girls who know name brands will be drawn to you. And as always, the watch comes with a 2-year JomaDeals warranty, so if women don’t start immediately throwing themselves at you, you can send it back fix it so that they do (not really. It’s just a metaphor. Don’t send it back if women still don’t like you).
This Mother’s Day, you want to give your mom a gift that makes her cry.